Saturday, February 19, 2011

They Really Don't Know!!!!

This is a Public Service Announcement.

I'm creating a united front against discrimination of plumbers and their butt cracks everywhere! Who's with me? Come on!! Its a legitimate organization! Plumbers have been discriminated against long enough! Its time to stop the hate!


You don't care?



I'm trying really hard to bring this issue to the forefront of people's minds. Its not working out so great. To be fair, I just started this movement right this minute. But, its been a whole minute and I'm not feeling any love.

What? You want to know why I've become so passionate about this hot button issue? Well, let me just tell you. You'll be mortified at the treatment these poor plumbers are subjected to. And don't be fooled into thinking that it can't happen to you. It can!! I know, because it happened to me just yesterday!

Here's the whole sordid, sad story:

Yesterday, I'm hanging out at our pool store (Pearson Pools in Gainesville, TX....Your One Stop Pool Shop! a little subtle advertising if you will) and one of our customers walks in with his automatic cleaner. We've done some work for him and his wife over the years and they're a very nice older, distinguished couple. He's a judge here in town.

Last week, SHE came in and brought her automatic cleaner in claiming that something wasn't working right and could I please go out to her car and help her bring it in. "Sure!" I say and go out and immediately diagnose that the hose is completely busted and needs to be replaced. So, we order them a new hose, call 'em up to tell them that we have it when they are ready to pick it up.

I know.... I'm getting to it.

Sometimes a story needs a little back story to set it up. So, just hang in with me. Here's where it gets good.

So, yesterday HE walks in, again dragging the whole cleaner in with him. When we tell him that he didn't need to bring it in, he claims that he did because he can't get a nut loose to remove the hose (as a little aside...he was turning it the wrong way. tee-hee! that's why we're in business!). He wants to know if I can help him get the old hose off and the new hose on. Again..."Sure!" I say.

Well, I don't know if you have a pool or if you've ever tried to put those hoses on the cleaner. But, they are really stiff.

Okay. I need to back up in the story for just a minute to tell you that last week here in Gainesville, TX, home of Pearson Pools, your one stop pool shop!!!  (That's not what I wanted to tell you but that was pretty good, huh? :) It was frigid here. This week the temps have been in the 70s and 80s....aaahhhhh! wonderful!!!
So, I've been wearing shorts all week. And Robbie's been riding his new Harley trike (I got him that for his birthday/Christmas present. Aren't I the good wife?) Night before last, I had no clean shorts (or underwear for that matter). So, I put in a load to wash before bed. When I got up the next morning I completely forgot to put them in the dryer!! I got up, had my delicious RVL shake, a cup of tea, checked my facebook, and got caught up in the world of news and weather. All of a sudden......"Crap!!! I forgot about my clothes!! Oh well, I'll put them in the dryer and Robbie can head in to the store, Pearson Pools, your one stop pool shop!

Too much? Okay, I'll stop.

Anyway, Robbie can head in on his motorcycle while I let my clothes finish drying and then I'll drive the truck in a little while." Good plan!

So, he goes out and it won't freaking start!! It has a brand new motor by the way!

So, now I have to hurry and get dressed so I can take him to work to open the store on time. Since my shorts (and underwear!) are not dry...I put on some jeans. I can't tell you how much this pains me. I've been really enjoying the shorts!

So, now I'm wearing jeans. Really cute, size 5 (yay!!) Cruel Girl jeans......

Okay, now back to the judge.

I'm working hard trying hard to get that stiff hose back on his cleaner. I work and work and finally....Yes!! its fixed! I give him all the spare parts, load it into his shiny, black, fancy car and send him on his way. I go about the rest of my day, cleaining pools, cleaning filters and doing all the work that goes along with being your one stop pool shop.

At the end of the day, I come in and my darling husband of 20 years says "Oh yeah!! I forgot to tell you! When the judge was here and you were bent over his cleaner, your butt crack was showing."



"Well......did it look plumber-y?" In the back of my mind, I was kinda hoping he was going to say "No baby. It was SEXY!!" Did he say that? Remember earlier when I said I got him a Harley for his birthday?

His response..."yeah, kinda..."

Oh my gosh.... this is soooooo bad! sooooooo embarassing!!!  I can never again see the judge. I just can't. He'll have to find someone else to take care of his pool problems... I'll have to run away and hide.

But, no. Instead, I'll start a PAC! Plumber's Ass Crack awareness group. I'll wear my butt crack with pride!! (I'm not yet, but I'm working on it....) and I'll stand up with all the other plumber butt cracks and NOT be ashamed!!!!! so, when you see us under your kitchen sink, behind your toilet, and bent over your automatic pool cleaners don't snicker at us.....just say "Hey! did you know your crack is showing?"

I think I might still really just run away. Maybe I'll run away to some tropical locale where butt cracks ARE sexy.

I still hope mine won't look "plumber-y"..........

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Diet Drinks

We used to drink diet drinks. I blogged all about it and you can read some earlier posts of mine if you want to know how they affected us. So, I won't go into all that now.

But, let me just say again, that we LOVED them!!!!! We loved the way they tasted. We loved the way they really quenched a thirst after mexican food. We just flat out loved them period.

But, we learned from antecdotal evidence that they were so bad for you. When we told Robbie's neurologist about his improvements after discontinuing the use of aspartame he just poo-pooed everything we said. He would say things like "The FDA approved it so it must be safe." pppssssshhhhh, yeah right!! How many things has the FDA approved that now lawyers are making millions on in mass tortes? Think commercials like this....."Have you or a loved one experienced death, brain damage, birth defects (insert major malady here)? Then call Winkyn, Blinkyn, and Nod to see if you qualify for damages!" The FDA approves LOTS of things that are bad for us!! Then, you'll run across the rube that won't consume a fruit supplement because the FDA didn't approve it! But, they'll go out and buy drugs for every little sniffle!

And yet again, I digress!

Even though artificial sweeteners have been linked to cancer and multiple auto-immune disorders, people are still consuming these beverages because A) they claim there's no proof of it. and B) because they appear to be addictive. (Oh believe me when I tell you that I think I was HIGHLY addicted to aspartame!)

But, now we have some hard, scientific data confirming that diet sodas are bad for us. Forget the thousands upon thousands of people who claim that their ails were cured when they stopped consuming aspartame. But, honestly, who are WE to tell those people they were full of crap? If they said it happened, why are we skeptical of that? Are we so cynical that we think everyone on this planet has an ulterior motive? Can we not just believe that people would share their story in an attempt to help other people? I choose to believe that we can!

But...regardless of all that...We have scientific evidence showing that diet drinks raise a person's chances of stroke and heart attack by 60%!!! Here's an excerpt from in Houston:

The study, a collaboration between Columbia University and the University of Miami, spanned nine years and followed 2,500 New Yorkers who each drank diet soda every day, according to a Today Show report.

It found that those who drank diet soft drinks on a daily basis had a 61 percent higher risk of "vascular events," including heart attacks and strokes. The study did not look at what types of diet sodas were consumed or at how much was consumed per day. It is a preliminary report.

You can google the University of Miami study that was just released and find more information on it. For me, I will just take it at face value and know in my heart that we did not make a mistake in giving up diet products. I won't lie and say it wasn't hard. It was. Just like giving up sugar, caffeine, cigarettes, or anything else you shouldn't be putting in your body. It requires some sacrifice. But, believe me it's worth it. What if it can increase your life span? Or more importantly, what if it can improve your QUALITY of life? What if by setting an example, you could increase the quality of life for your children?

In the words of a famous sports apparel manufacturer....Just Do It!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Nutella Day??

Forgive me briefly, please! I am at this moment...internetless except for the internet on my phone. While Im quite thankful for any little scrap of internet, this just seems barbaric! Im typing with my thumbs like some twisted circus feat. This will be a short post but I just HAD to share this with you.

On another blog I follow (Not one of the healthy ones!) I saw that today is Nutella Day. I know! Crazy!

I just want to say...Put down the spoon!! You can do it! I know its tasty. Believe me I know! But Im here as a beacon of real hope and change (hahaha! Get it?)

Nutella is full of hydrogenated oils. Hydrogenated oils cause clogged arteries and heart disease, not saturated fats! In this day and age, there is no reason at all to consume hydrogenated oils......ever! If you would just buck up and buy your groceries from the health food store youll be SOOOO much healthier. But more importantly, your family would be soooo much healthier. Isnt that what we REALLY want?

I know. Because Ive been there. At first the sticker shock alone almost kills you on the spot. But, then youll realize that a)its worth the extra money. And b) youll be eating less but more nutrient dense foods. Win/Win!

So, back to my original point of Nutella. Dont buy it! Instead, spend Nutella Day going to the health food store. Look around and enjoy the experience! Pick out a few things that look interesting to take home and try. Start easy if you've never been, maybe some organic toaster pastries (They have chocolate!!) Or some herbal coffee. Maybe a six pack of Blue Skys (Im not going to tell you what they are. You have to go see and report back! Kinda like a scavenger hunt. How fun is that?) But, one thing you HAVE to try is

Chocolate Hazelnut Spread made by Rapunzel.

I didnt just make that up! Its for real and its to die for.....only you wont cuz its healthy. Now Nutella, on the oher hand....

Just go try it and let me know what ya think! And report back when you know what Blue Skys are. By the way, if you're in our co-op, we can get all that in the co-op. :)

Happy Nutella Day!..........ppppffffffttttttttttt