Saturday, February 19, 2011

They Really Don't Know!!!!

This is a Public Service Announcement.

I'm creating a united front against discrimination of plumbers and their butt cracks everywhere! Who's with me? Come on!! Its a legitimate organization! Plumbers have been discriminated against long enough! Its time to stop the hate!


You don't care?



I'm trying really hard to bring this issue to the forefront of people's minds. Its not working out so great. To be fair, I just started this movement right this minute. But, its been a whole minute and I'm not feeling any love.

What? You want to know why I've become so passionate about this hot button issue? Well, let me just tell you. You'll be mortified at the treatment these poor plumbers are subjected to. And don't be fooled into thinking that it can't happen to you. It can!! I know, because it happened to me just yesterday!

Here's the whole sordid, sad story:

Yesterday, I'm hanging out at our pool store (Pearson Pools in Gainesville, TX....Your One Stop Pool Shop! a little subtle advertising if you will) and one of our customers walks in with his automatic cleaner. We've done some work for him and his wife over the years and they're a very nice older, distinguished couple. He's a judge here in town.

Last week, SHE came in and brought her automatic cleaner in claiming that something wasn't working right and could I please go out to her car and help her bring it in. "Sure!" I say and go out and immediately diagnose that the hose is completely busted and needs to be replaced. So, we order them a new hose, call 'em up to tell them that we have it when they are ready to pick it up.

I know.... I'm getting to it.

Sometimes a story needs a little back story to set it up. So, just hang in with me. Here's where it gets good.

So, yesterday HE walks in, again dragging the whole cleaner in with him. When we tell him that he didn't need to bring it in, he claims that he did because he can't get a nut loose to remove the hose (as a little aside...he was turning it the wrong way. tee-hee! that's why we're in business!). He wants to know if I can help him get the old hose off and the new hose on. Again..."Sure!" I say.

Well, I don't know if you have a pool or if you've ever tried to put those hoses on the cleaner. But, they are really stiff.

Okay. I need to back up in the story for just a minute to tell you that last week here in Gainesville, TX, home of Pearson Pools, your one stop pool shop!!!  (That's not what I wanted to tell you but that was pretty good, huh? :) It was frigid here. This week the temps have been in the 70s and 80s....aaahhhhh! wonderful!!!
So, I've been wearing shorts all week. And Robbie's been riding his new Harley trike (I got him that for his birthday/Christmas present. Aren't I the good wife?) Night before last, I had no clean shorts (or underwear for that matter). So, I put in a load to wash before bed. When I got up the next morning I completely forgot to put them in the dryer!! I got up, had my delicious RVL shake, a cup of tea, checked my facebook, and got caught up in the world of news and weather. All of a sudden......"Crap!!! I forgot about my clothes!! Oh well, I'll put them in the dryer and Robbie can head in to the store, Pearson Pools, your one stop pool shop!

Too much? Okay, I'll stop.

Anyway, Robbie can head in on his motorcycle while I let my clothes finish drying and then I'll drive the truck in a little while." Good plan!

So, he goes out and it won't freaking start!! It has a brand new motor by the way!

So, now I have to hurry and get dressed so I can take him to work to open the store on time. Since my shorts (and underwear!) are not dry...I put on some jeans. I can't tell you how much this pains me. I've been really enjoying the shorts!

So, now I'm wearing jeans. Really cute, size 5 (yay!!) Cruel Girl jeans......

Okay, now back to the judge.

I'm working hard trying hard to get that stiff hose back on his cleaner. I work and work and finally....Yes!! its fixed! I give him all the spare parts, load it into his shiny, black, fancy car and send him on his way. I go about the rest of my day, cleaining pools, cleaning filters and doing all the work that goes along with being your one stop pool shop.

At the end of the day, I come in and my darling husband of 20 years says "Oh yeah!! I forgot to tell you! When the judge was here and you were bent over his cleaner, your butt crack was showing."



"Well......did it look plumber-y?" In the back of my mind, I was kinda hoping he was going to say "No baby. It was SEXY!!" Did he say that? Remember earlier when I said I got him a Harley for his birthday?

His response..."yeah, kinda..."

Oh my gosh.... this is soooooo bad! sooooooo embarassing!!!  I can never again see the judge. I just can't. He'll have to find someone else to take care of his pool problems... I'll have to run away and hide.

But, no. Instead, I'll start a PAC! Plumber's Ass Crack awareness group. I'll wear my butt crack with pride!! (I'm not yet, but I'm working on it....) and I'll stand up with all the other plumber butt cracks and NOT be ashamed!!!!! so, when you see us under your kitchen sink, behind your toilet, and bent over your automatic pool cleaners don't snicker at us.....just say "Hey! did you know your crack is showing?"

I think I might still really just run away. Maybe I'll run away to some tropical locale where butt cracks ARE sexy.

I still hope mine won't look "plumber-y"..........

No comments:

Post a Comment